So I'm super excited and proud of myself for putting it out there and trying this audition thing. Super fun weekend. Even though I didn't advance I felt great about how I did and I learned a lot. Even about my self and this gift I've been given. This is how it went down.
After a slightly crazy first night in Los Angeles (I'll tell you about it one-on-one if you call me) I arrived at the convention center about 1:30pm Saturday since I was registered to show up at 2. I walked right into the lobby of the place and there was a line winding through the concourse but it wasn't ridiculously long at all. At that point I was pleasantly surprised. But of course after standing there for a few minutes an event person came to tell us that we were in the wrong part of the line and that we had cut in. So he directs us to the real end of the line which was totally at the other end of the building outside. Yeah so this was more of what I expected. I don't know how many thousand were there but it was at least a couple for sure. After finding my place in line I quickly became aquatinted with about 8 people that were standing around me. It was cool to see the diversity represented. There were some who were very zealous about sharing their music with the rest of us in line but no one was obnoxious at all, it was fun. When the line finally began to move it didn't move fast but it moved at a very reasonable pace. Once inside the glass doors we wound around and went up stairs to a point where we were searched and ID'd then sent into the actual registration check-in point. After that we were seated in a large conference room in groups of about 70 or so. We didn't sit there long before being taken to another big conference room in groups of about 40. From that point they put us into groups of 10 and this would be our audition group. When it was time for our group of 10 to leave the final holding room, we were led to a hallway outside the 5 small conference rooms that the actual auditions were taking place in. We waited for a little while at that point for our turn inside the room. We finally were ushered into the room where there was a producer person setup at a table with a laptop and some papers in front of him. He looked very average, young, clean cut and not very Hollywoody. Which was a good thing. There were ten chairs setup in a V formation facing each other and the producer. There was a T marked out with tape on the floor. He would call us up by name in no particular order. It was all very un-intimidating as the producer just basically stared down taking notes or typing something the whole time people were singing. As they finished he would say thank you and then call the next name. We were told by other event staff before we went in that we should encourage and support each other really well once inside the room, so we would clap before and after each other's performance which was cool and helped with the nerves I think.
I ended up being about number 6 out of our group of ten. I wasn't nervous at all until I stepped on the tape then I got super nervous. Not debilitatingly so but just nervous. So I began to sing When You Say You Love Me (a Josh Groban song). I started with the second verse and sang through pretty much to the end of the song, however much time that took. I felt like we all got to sing about 90 seconds worth. Here's where it gets interesting and I hope you understand that I'm telling this story as humbly as I know how but I got excited about what happened next. So I'm singing along and about halfway through the portion of song I was singing I finally just closed my eyes to just enjoy what I was doing. So as I finished I opened my eyes to see the producer looking at me with his chin resting on his hand and a pleased look on his face. And my co-contestants applauding what seemed to be louder than for anyone else before me. That was exciting!! The producer hadn't been visibly dialed in to any of the previous singers, at least not facially with eye contact. And then he just said, thank you and I sat down. The next few get up to do their song as their names are called individually. After all of us ten were finished the producer says, "thank you everyone.....Curt, can you come sing again for me?" And I excitedly reply, "sure!!!" So I step up and tell him the name of my song is Your Love by Shane and Shane. He says, "who is that?" And I reply, its an independent Christian band. Then he says, "can you sing something that's on the radio right now?" So I say yes but then in that moment draw a complete blank on any mainstream song I've ever heard. It was horrible because I had at least 3 other songs that I'd been learning for a month in trying to figure out the perfect audition song. I could have sang any of them but I guess my nerves got the best of me in that moment and I couldn't think of anything at all. So I finally thought of You Raise Me Up only because i'd just sang a Josh Groban song and he reminded me of that song.
Before I go on I must say that seven years ago in China I sang You Raise Me Up dozens of times with my Mongolian/Chinese singer friend. We even recorded it together. So I start out singing the chorus and about halfway through the chorus I go blank on the second half of the chorus and start mixing up the verse with the chorus then realize what I'm doing and I don't want to stop singing because this dude is about to give me a chance to advance probably if I can nail this song like I nailed the first one. Well I eventually run out of creativity on how to keep fabricating this song and I finally stop and say "I apologize, I just jacked those lyrics up" and the producer just politely says, thank you, then addresses all of us by saying "Thank you all for coming out here today, the competition this season is very tight and we are looking for people to come in here and be flawless, so with that said I am not going to advance anyone from this group but good luck to you and maybe you can try again.
At that point I didn't feel deflated at all because I knew that I'd blown my chance just seconds before by screwing up that second song. I was a little frustrated with myself for literally about 4 minutes then I realized that for what ever reason, the way things went in that room with the group I was put with, it appeared that I was the best singer in that group of ten and that I got the producer's attention enough for him to want to hear more. Even though I wasn't flawless when it counted, I did a really good job. I haven't finished processing it all just yet but that experience did something new for my confidence and belief in this gift that I have. I have not ignored all the encouragement and compliments I've received over the last several years about my voice but for what ever reason after going through that experience last weekend there may be something inside of me that is ready to stop being so timid about it. I don't think that means that I'm gonna be singing on the street corners and in parks and malls all the time just because I can, but I feel like when people want to hear me its because they truly believe there is something special about my voice. Don't know why in the world the Lord gave me these vocal chords, this personality and whatever stage presence I've got but I know that He did it for a reason that should always ultimately glorify Him. So who am I to try to control that and hide it if he wants to use it even in spite of how crazy and selfish I am most of the time. Sooooo, another day older, another lesson learned.
And to all of you who have said some of the most unbelievable things about what you think about my voice and what a gift you think it is and all the other special things you've said, thank you. I hope to make you proud by starting to just be available and uninhibited by my fear or insecurities. I've learned loud and clear that when I feel timid and afraid, that's when it's all about Curtis Hampton. But to put attention back on the Lord means to just let Him minister through me however He chooses. Love you guys. Thanks again for the love and belief in me.
