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Safe and sound

I watched a movie called "Come Out, Come Out Whatever You Are" tonight and it was pretty freaky. One of those movies that is just slightly real enough to make you a little shaky for a little while afterwards. If you have ever seen "The Bone Collector" then you know what I'm talking about. I was at a friends house watching it and I kind of wanted to just spend the night when it was over so I wouldn't have to go up my pitch black stairwell to my apartment.
I decided to brave the night and go home to sleep in my own bed. As I was riding in the taxi back to my house, I started thinking about how after watching that movie then walking out into the community I live in and knowing how the people are that I currently live around, I was put at ease knowing there will never be some crazy Chinese person jumping out with a knife or a shovel to try and kill me. It made me appreciate the lack of sadistic violence that exists here. This place just keeps getting better and better to me.

Pimp My Ride

You know that you are pretty well used to the culture when you look around and admire a new bike as if it was a new car. OR even better, you see different kinds of bikes as you would take notice of a sedan you like or a sportier model. I catch myself looking at someone's bike from time to time while I'm waiting for the traffic light to change and thinking "His bike is so sweet", or "Dang it, that is a really great basket". Not real sure if that means I've been here too long or that I'm thinking like local. I have to stop and laugh at myself sometimes when I catch myself doing this. Especially when there is a really nice Audi A6 on the other side of the new bike I'm admiring but the Audi gets ignored. Wow, what have I become.

Just a little peck!

So I’m coming out of the bakery today and I notice this guy trying to get a good shot of me with his camera. This is not a rare occurrence so being the crazy guy I am, in these moments I will usually go over and pose for the person and let them get a good photo of me. So that’s what I did. I did a little pose with my bike and then the guy ran over to pose with me while his companion took the camera to take our picture. This too has happened before so it was not weird. He put his arm around my neck and I did likewise and his friend snapped the picture. Then they motioned for one more. So I stayed in the position and as his friend was about to snap the picture he turned and kissed me on the cheek. That was not normal and has never happened to me before. I love how new and random things can happen here though. It keeps life fresh. ;-)

Wow! I feel like I should try to redeem myself in some way but somehow I think there is just no excuse for not entering a post in almost 3 months. I am not worthy of the blog. Please forgive me as I make an attempt to rejoin the land of the living, at least on the World Wide Web. I�ve been doing life at it�s best since I last typed anything on these pages. Life, where I�ve been for the past year, has just been wild to say the least. First of all I find myself living somewhere I never thought I�d live and never wanted to live, doing something I never thought I�d do and never really cared to do and liking it more than I�d thought I�d like it. How�s that for irony. As I return to teach for another year and reflect back on some things that the first year has taught me I�m in awe of how life can take on different shapes. I thought I had a pretty good grasp on who I am and what I�m about and what I want but then Reality struck. Overall I think I�m still the same crazy Curt but there are some foundational things that have been dug up and relayed. I�m so excited that I have a father who cares enough about me to sift out the crap I like to fill my life with and replant fresh truth and fruit making a better me. It has not been without a fight though. The pruning and subsequent fighting has been where the deepest changes have taken place. I find myself fighting something entirely good in order to hang on to something that is entirely bad just because the bad is what I�m used to and something new threatens my perception of freedom and comfort. I used to always talk about wanting to be free and uninhibited. I never realized that the things I thought were making me free were actually those bad things that were keeping me bound. Attitudes, prejudices, lusts for a particular standard of living. Craziness. I don�t know if you know that song, �his eye is on the sparrow� but I love how it talks about Him being my portion and because of this I can sing, be happy and be free. I love the reference the song makes to singing because I love to sing and especially when my heart feels free to sing loud. Sometimes I don�t feel like singing but other times I feel like singing so that the whole town can hear me. Those are the special times. I�m really excited that I�ve been given an opportunity to experience my father in such a way recently that it makes me want to sing. Sing a song motivated by joy and freedom in allowing him to love me and protect me. What a great Dad I have. He takes away my fear of stepping out and really doing life. Who knew that fear has such a tight grasp on so many of us. Fear and pride have to be the two worst things one can struggle with. As I�ve had the opportunity to look some of my fears in the face and totally defuse them I find myself with an incredible lightness and courage to live completely outside the box. I see now how fear gets it�s power. As long as I remain afraid of being exposed or afraid of not measuring up or even afraid of being left out of love then I am totally submitting to the curse of fear and I�m putting myself in shackles. It�s not easy to confront fear but once you begin to it�s sweet. Fear knows where I get my power from and so eminently it�s future is doomed. I just have to remember this. I guess I could go on and on about this stuff. I just wanted to share a little bit of my heart since I was sitting here at the computer anyway. I have a cousin that always writes this little saying at the end of her emails (Live, Love and Laugh). I think that�s how it goes. It�s a good saying and knowing who gives us the freedom to live and to love and to laugh should motivate us to do even more of the same. If you�re not keepin� it real, make it real.